Thoughts aplenty...

I used to think that life is very simple, when two gets together - get hitched, a new path of life begins (now thats a true statement on get hitched and a new path). However little did I expect myself to join in the crowd that contributes to the scaling number of divorcees and divorced.

I am not going to elaborate on my story down here. However, once bitten twice shy. It has been quite sometime since the big D, yes I didn't expect to meet someone. Someone who has the intention of embarking the big M with me.

It has been a tough few months - topics that revolve around the big M and all. I slowly realised that I have a phobia. A phobia towards the big M - things will change and they definitely CHANGE regardless how much a couple knows about one another. Regardless how in love they are, regardless how long they have been together. I have been there and done that before. Thou it fails to work out in the end - but I have been there.

Knowing that things are not always rosy, the big M needs many and plenty of work to maintain, to grow and all. I am starting to doubt whether I have the ability to do so. To be brave, to be strong, to go through all that - with tears, soots, laughter, smiles, heartbreaking moments, heartwarming times...

Am I ready? I secretly doubt myself. He is a lovely person to be with, probably...maybe...I am not ready just yet. Coming out of one M took a toll on me. The thought of embarking into another is frightening.

Wise words needed - probably its time I sit down and pray for more wisdom.